My Hips Don’t Lie They Just Open Real Wide Hoodie | Funny Sexy Adult Humor Sweatshirt | Unisex Cozy Fleece | Bold Statement Hoodie

Ready to make the whole room choke on their drink AND compliment your outfit?
This hoodie is serving Shakira energy with bedroom-level flexibility—because why be shy when your hips have a PhD in seduction and comedic timing?

Whether you’re built like a pretzel or just flexible in your morals, this hoodie lets the world know:
👉 You’re funny.
👉 You’re flirty.
👉 And you can probably do some things they’re now VERY curious about. 😏

😈 Why This Hoodie is Sexier Than Your Ex’s Apology:
96% Recycled Polyester + 4% Elastane – Saving the planet while spreading your legs truth.

Soft Cotton-Feel Fabric Face – So smooth it feels like foreplay.

Brushed Fleece Inside – Warm, cozy, cuddle-approved.

Double-Lined Hood (Design on Both Sides!) – Fashion goes both ways… like some of us.

Unisex Fit – Because everyone deserves to be a thottie.

Drawstrings Included – To pull it tight… or get pulled.

Overlock Seams – Built sturdy. Unlike your last situationship.

💡 Disclaimer: If the pockets look like something’s peeking through… just tell them it’s “foreshadowing.” 😉

🎉 Where to Wear:
✅ Girls’ night ✅ Bedroom ✅ Brunch ✅ Your sneaky link’s house ✅ Family dinner (for chaos)

Get ready for nonstop compliments, side-eyes, and at LEAST 3 people shooting their shot.

Because when your hoodie says it… they’ll believe it. 😏💕

• 96% recycled polyester, 4% elastane for manufacturing in the US/Mexico
• 95% recycled polyester, 5% elastane for manufacturing in Latvia
• Fabric weight (may vary by 5%): 9.08 oz./yd.² (308 g/m²)
• Soft cotton-feel fabric face
• Brushed fleece fabric inside
• Double-lined hood with design on both sides
• Unisex style
• Comes with drawstrings
• Overlock seams
• Blank product components in Mexico sourced from Poland and Mexico
• Blank product components in the EU sourced from China and Poland

Disclaimer: In areas where the fabric is double-layered (like pockets), details from the inner fabric layer may subtly show through, especially with lighter designs.

Please note that all of our items are made to order, so it typically takes at least 2 days for handling. After that, your order will be shipped on the 3rd day. Once shipped, it’s in the hands of the post office for delivery. We take extra care in creating each product just for you, which is why it may take a bit longer to reach you. By making products on demand rather than in bulk, we help reduce overproduction, so we truly appreciate your thoughtful purchasing decision!

Size guide